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What’s new and what to release for 2022?


Well another year has passed.

What to say about 2021? We came in with such great hopes. Vaccines were on the horizon, we were getting ready for structured clothes and a summer of make-up birthday parties for everyone.

Of course, it didn’t quite turn out like that. The news “Roaring 20s” turned out to be two roaring weeks in early July.

Maybe we haven’t had a definitive ticker-tape parade moment where we can declare, “The pandemic is over!” (OK, there were a lot of such celebrations in July but we have hopefully learned our lesson about it).

However, it was not all bad. There were moments of levity and positivity. J-Lo and Ben Affleck got back together, and we always will have it.

But now it’s time to look to the future. What’s inside and outside for 2022, a year that will surely be, must be, all of our years.

In: Lindsay Lohan

Actress Lindsay Lohan poses for photographers as she arrives at the European MTV Awards in Bilbao, Spain on Sunday, November 4, 2018 (Photo by Vianney Le Caer / Invision / AP)Vianney Le Caer / Invision / AP

If 2021 was the year of Britney Spears, 2022 will be the year of Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay is engaged, she’s making a Christmas movie on Netflix for next year. It is time for us all to redeem ourselves for joining the system that makes women do literally anything and tries to destroy them. And it’s not just Lindsay …

In: Yoko Ono and apologies for all women wronged by pop culture

The apologies to all the women hurt by pop culture from the beginning of time until today will continue. The Beatles documentary “Get Back” made it clear that Yoko had not split up the group. It was about fame, personality, money, heroine and entropy. In 2022, we will continue to find women who have been vilified for daring to exist and offer them our sincerest apologies.

Out: Neil Olshey and the Toxic Bosses

The flip side of the apology is cleaning the house from bad bosses. Goodbye to the guys in charge who make everyone feel bad all the time. We don’t need that energy in 2022. We already feel bad enough.

Exit: dates of return to the office

How we are working during COVID-19 - March 10, 2021

The cabins at Brown and Brown of Detroit in Sterling Heights have been empty for almost two years. Oregon office space was also vacant. (Mike Mulholland | MLive.com)

Speaking of work, let’s stop pretending that office workers will ever come back full time. COVID is still spreading, and businesses are saving too much on toilet paper for the return to the office to ever materialize (until 2122, when a youngster ‘disrupts the job’ and reverse engineer an office) .

In: Getting a better home / work setup

It’s been two years, buckaroo. Stop working from your couch, hunched over like a turtle in a children’s book.

Backward: Zoom

While we might never go back to those open cubicles / plans of offices and the free coffee and someone else paying for the heat again, we don’t have to face the inhumanity of staring at our own smeared faces throughout the meeting. This Zoom can be a voice call or if you really want to see someone’s face, hide yourself and meet outside. Zoom, you are dead until 2022.

Exit: Ordinary Covid

Oh for the days when there was only one type of COVID and that was COVID. In 2022, we’ll likely be even more familiar with the Greek alphabet, whether we like it or not.

In: Acceptance

We used to believe in a future that looked like our past, a world without COVID. Now even babies know it isn’t. Although, let’s be honest, babies could be the smartest among us. Either way, in 2022 we will address this truth and stop fighting the urge to turn back time by acknowledging that this is life now and we might as well start living it.

In, again: Masks. Please wear your mask.

Brazil, Japan report first cases of omicron

A woman wearing a face mask walks past a COVID-19 awareness sign at Lisbon International Airport on Tuesday, November 30, 2021. Portugal reinstates strict pandemic restrictions, less than two months after removing most of them them when the goal of immunizing 86% of the population against COVID-19 has been reached. (AP Photo / Armando Franca)PA

The days when you needed a little black dress may be gone forever, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a versatile sartorial item you need for every occasion. The 2022 wardrobe staple is, once again, the mask. Please wear one.

Again: makeup

Yeah no. We’ll be taking a pass on that one again this year.

Outside, for real this time: Sweatshirts

Yes, we declared the end of sweatshirts last year, but look, we were wrong. But this year … this year it’s really going, because …

In: Just a blanket over your naked body

Who needs to invest in sweatshirts when they probably already have several perfectly good blankets. Now that we’re done with Zoom, free your body from the constraints of any clothing. It’s the future and we just live in it.

In: Literally Spending $ 10 on a Banana

Life is an “Arrested Development” reboot and this time, one way or another, Lucille Bluth is right.

– Lizzy Acker

503-221-8052, [email protected], @lizzzyacker

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